How Do I Teach My Daughter NOT To Embarrass Me? Or Herself? Now Taking Suggestions.

As the mother of a baby girl, I spend a stupid amount of time worrying about what kind of little person and teenager she will grow into in the coming years. My hope is that I can teach her to be kind and sweet and friendly to everyone, and that the fact that she is gorgeous doesn't go to her pretty little head. So let's all hope it works out that way, right?

Anyway, I mention this because yesterday I was in the grocery store and I witnessed one of my biggest fears. A parent allowing her 13 year-old daughter (maybe, she may have been younger) to traipse around Hannaford in her BIKINI. Totes inappropriate.

Now, I went to UNH and we all know that the second the temperature got above 60 degrees every girl on campus started strutting around in grossly inappropriate clothing that revealed vast amounts of albino white rolls everywhere. Not cool. It was embarrassing to witness and made me feel sad because you know those chicks thought they were totally hot. And now, here I am in Hannaford witnessing the same thing only now the girls are younger and it makes me shake with fear. Because I don't want to have big fights with my lovely daughter about why dressing like a skank is wrong. So we are totally taking suggestions now about how to make sure we do not have this same problem. Thanks in advance for all your help!

And, Dad, let's refrain from any comments about how my daughter's teenage antics are well deserved payback for the huge pain in the butt I was as a teen. Because obviously I was perfect.

"Picking out my own clothes is going to be SWEET."

Crawling!

Here she is!

Free Flip? Oh Yes.

A few months ago I had to buy new tires for my car, which was obviously a bummer. I mean, safety is great and all, but believe me when I tell you that I could have done way more fun things with that money. However, as I forked over my credit card to the folks at Volkswagen, I noticed an enormous sign that said "Free Flip Video Camera With Purchase of Four Continental Tires!"

Sweet.

I happened to be paying for four such tires at that moment, so I gathered up the necessary paperwork and mailed it in with a quickness. Fast forward to Saturday afternoon, when my new FREE Flip video camera showed up in the mail. I'm in love. This thing is the business.

First of all, it is super small and lightweight. It also seems pretty tough to break, which is always a plus in my world. It runs on two AA batteries, but there is a rechargeable battery pack available. And best of all, the USB is built right in, so all I have to do is flip that bad boy open and plug it into my computer. No figuring out where the heck I put the cord! Holla!

Now, clearly since this thing was free it is a base model, 4 GB, 1 hour recording time situation, but I don't care. I just have to upload my videos when my hour is up and clear it out. Easy. I'm a fan.

Since I wasn't in the market for a new video camera, I can't say I would have bought it on my own, but I can definitely recommend it now that I own it. It could not be any easier to function, in fact, I bet CC could handle it if I gave her a chance. (although it would obviously end up soaked in drool, so that might affect its efficacy). The uploading process is so simple even my cats could do it. If you are in the market for a pocket sized camera, this thing is your man. So check it out!

Here is a little sample video recorded with my new Flip video camera!

"Yes, as a matter of fact I COULD operate that camera. However, we all know that my place is in FRONT of the camera. So let's not forget it."

Are You Eating Carmine? NOTE: This Is Not A Sicilian Thing.

If you eat red or pink foods, you might be eating carmine. And you just might be feeding it to your baby. What is it you ask? Well, it's gross. Here, let me paste a little wikipedia info for you:

CARMINE: also called Crimson Lake, Cochineal, Natural Red #40, C.I. 75470, or E120, is a pigment of a bright red color obtained from the aluminum salt of carminic acid, which is produced by some scale insects, such as the cochineal and the Polish cochineal, and is used as a general term for a particularly deep red color of the same name. Carmine is used in the manufacture of artificial flowers, paints, crimson ink, rouge, and other cosmetics, and is routinely added to food products such as yogurt and certain brands of juice, most notably those of the ruby-red variety.

Carminic acid

To prepare carmine, the powdered scale insect bodies are boiled in ammonia or a sodium carbonate solution, the insoluble matter is removed by filtering, and alum is added to the clear salt solution of carminic acid to precipitate the red aluminium salt, called "carmine lake" or "crimson lake." Purity of colour is ensured by the absence of iron. Stannous chloride, citric acid, borax, or gelatin may be added to regulate the formation of the precipitate. For shades of purple, lime is added to the alum; thus the traditional crimson color is guaranteed not only by carminic acid, but choice of its chelating metal salt ion.

Is that not the nastiest thing you have ever heard? Crushed insect bodies? Seriously? Gag me. I am not usually one to meddle in what people want to eat, but let me assure you that in yogurt or juice that contains this crap, it DOES NOT say "crushed insects" on the ingredient list. It just says carmine or Red #40. So maybe people just don't know?

We try to eat natural and organic around here (with the exception of my sad and all-consuming addiction to the golden arches), and I try to cook frequently and stay away from processed foods (except Cheez-Itz, but really, can you blame me?), but I am not perfect and do occasionally buy stuff to feed my family that could potentially have carmine in it. And when I found out what it is made from, I vommed in my mouth a little. I mean, I have plenty to worry about without dealing with pulverized insects in my juice. And doesn't everyone? So now you know one more thing about what is in your food. You're welcome.

I guess you could argue that bug bodies are sort of a natural coloring agent, but I'll take beet juice as a red colorant over bugs any day, thank you very much. And since CC is a diva, you KNOW she has something to say about what she eats. Although these days, if it isn't a waffle, she isn't eating it. Sigh. At least they're whole grain. And bug free. Holla.

"I am NOT eating bugs. Sick."

Eight.

Time is just FLYING by. Here is CC's 8 month letter! I love her so much. What a sap I have become in my role as Mommy. (quick question: Is anyone who knows me still blown away by the fact that I am a mother? that I have a daughter? trip out.) 

Dear Caroline,

            Happy 8 month birthday little bird! You are such a big girl these days. You always want to stand, you can hold yourself up if you have something to hang onto, and you even take little steps when holding our hands. I think you will be walking soon! You don’t seem to have an interest in crawling, but I hope you get over that, because it would be fun to see you crawl.

            You also have two teeth now and I think a third one is on its way. Those little teeth are such a powerful reminder of how big are getting and how fast time is moving. It seems like yesterday I was snuggling your little newborn self against me and now you are so busy when you are awake you hardly have time for snuggles! We cuddle at bedtime now and read stories, and you seem to love books as much as I do, thank goodness!

            You are a little chatterbox as well, and even though you are not saying any particular words, we hear lots of babble that occasionally includes ma-ma, da-da, and ca (cat?). I have a feeling one of these days you are going to just start chatting away with us, and I can’t wait to hear what you have to say. It is so neat to see you learn new things and experience the miracle of all your new learning. You astound me every day with just how smart you are.

            You are still gorgeous and your personality still gets you lots of attention we when are out. You love to ride in shopping carts and you especially love the grocery store. We take lots of walks now that it is warm out, and you could ride in your stroller for hours, You look around at everything and always have such a thoughtful look on your face. You seem to constantly be taking in your surroundings and thinking about what you see, I love how mellow you are and how much you enjoy being in the world.

            You bring incredible joy and love into our lives. We say every day how lucky we are to have you and how amazing and beautiful you are. We still shake our heads in amazement when we say “our daughter.” You are so much of us, and so much yourself, and the combination is just incredible. Thank you for being our little bird, our small one, and our miracle. I love you my darling girl. Love, Mommy

"What can I say? I'm the cutest thing that ever lived."

Ole! Cinco De Mayo A Little Bit Late.

I've been busy the last few days, but I am working on some nice long posts for next week. Until then, you can admire my cute baby during her Cinco De Mayo photo session! She wasn't really in the mood, but I made her do it anyway. Its only a fair trade for the exhaustion she makes me feel on a daily basis.

"I'm way too busy today to deal with commenting on all of these photos, but just know that I put up a decent fight here. I mean really, a sombrero? A papagayo? You have GOT to be KIDDING me. No me gusta."

My Headband. (Thanks Glee!)

I recently attended a little Mommy and Me event with CC, and obviously I bought her some loot. Although she may not agree with me that it is amazing. We went to the event with another mommy friend and her baby (shout out to Stephanie, check out her amazing blog!) and then took a nice walk in the sunshine. I love having mommy friends because 1.) it is nice to know other people dealing with all the same baby questions, 2.) CC has little friends exactly her age to grow up with, and 3.) they enable me to do embarrassing things to my child, such as buy her flowery, feathery headbands and then take pictures of her to show her boyfriends when she is older. Fun for everyone!

Also, let's not forget that other mommies are like built-in drinking buddies who also enjoy ordering birdbath sized margaritas along with every fried item available on appetizer menus. The best kind of friends!

And now, let the humiliation ensue.

"you better believe there were tears involved here."

"but I do look pretty, so I better work it."

"feathers make me feel sneezy."

"aren't you done YET?"

"I can't wait to be bigger. then no more funny business."

"kill me."