Monday, June 18, 2012

I Was Cleaner When I Was Camping.

Since having my second child, things have gone to hell in a handbasket regarding personal grooming and maintenance. Sads all around for me. Keeping both of these girls clean, dry, fed, and clothed is seriously the most full-time job ever. I don't have time to read, eat, pee, or breathe, so I offer this post as an explanation of why it is that you practically can't see my eyes because my eyebrows are so out of control.

Having two children means this:

1. you will shower once a week if you are lucky. also, rubbing yourself with a baby wipe will start to constitute "showering." fortunately for me, I only go places where there are other, equally as unshowered, moms who don't care or notice my earthy odor and greasy hair. thanks ladies.

2. manis and pedis are not even in my reality at all. I can't get to a salon, and if CC even THINKS I am getting the nail polishes out, they immediately become hers and she squirrels them away into her playtent with all the other stuff that used to be mine which is now hers. including my cell phone most of the time, so if I never call you back, now you know why.

3. you will wear the same outfit every day because it is easily accessible on the floor next to the bed, or because you slept in it to save time getting dressed. you will change only when hubby makes a judgy remark about how "that shirt is really getting a workout, don't you think?"

4. you will spend all you money on things that promise to entertain your older, more demanding child, rather than on wax, hair dye, stylists, nail polish, and new clothes. it will be worth it if even one of those things keeps her out of the bathroom long enough for you to pee by yourself. trust me.

I love my girls, but seriously, this is getting ridiculous. It is summer and I need me some pretty toes! Perhaps it is time to start interviewing babysitters...

"As long as Mommy still brushes my hair, I'm cool. At least one of us should look good!"


  1. Ok really...I'm so happy I have you! Call me later gator! I miss your beautiful face!!!!!!!!!!!